What I learn about being Single...

So I suddenly had the urge to write about a topic almost anyone could relate to..

Being single!!!

So if you've read my past post, you would have known that I was in a same-sex relationship about 2 plus years back. However, before that I was also in a BGR about two times? Both relationships I was cheated by the guy. Yes, that sucks. And in the SSR, I thought you know we would understand each other better. But that wasn't the case, and eventually things turned and the relationship ended.

But these relationships taught me a very good lesson.

And one of the best lesson it taught me was that BEING SINGLE IS AWESOME!

Below are some of the lesson I learnt about being free, being single!

Firstly, being single taught me to love myself more!

​When I was in the relationship itself, I tend to be someone I am not. But instead I would mould myself into someone the other party wish, thinking that would help in making the relationship last. However, after being in these relationships, it taught me that if I don't love who I really am, how am I to find the person who truly love me for who I am?

Therefore, now being single, I learnt this really important point and start to discover my true self and fall in love with who I am. I learn to be who I truly am deep down inside. I learn to stop being another person to please everyone else.

Because, let me make this clear again, being who you are not will never make you a happy person even if you are in a relationship with someone you've had a crush on for years. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!

Secondly, being single taught me that working on myself is important!

​What do I mean...? Let me put this simple.. It taught me to work on my goals and what I want in future. A lot of people tend to think that their future consists of getting married and giving birth to tons of children for their husband... ahem! what generation are you living in?

In 2018, or rather way before 2018, gender equality have been emphasised many many times. Women can do things men can do. Sometimes even better!

Well, I don't deny that I once thought to myself when I was in a relationship, that my main goal in future is just to be a housewife. But being single taught me so much more than just being a housewife. It taught me that I can be a boss of my own business one day. It taught me that I can set higher goals for myself and work on achieving my goals.

Thirdly, being single taught me that I am worthy of so much more!

Some relationships makes you think you are worthless.. some relationships shows you that you are just so worthy. And for my case, non of my relationships taught me that I was worthy. Instead, all of them show me that I am not worthy of anything.

But being single taught me to look back into the past, into the things that made me thought that I am worthless and ask myself if that is really it? And looking back made me realise that the things that made me felt worthless were actually the things that I should feel worthy of.

Because when in the relationship, the other party make it seem like it was worthless, but when I learnt to love myself, those point were actually worth so much more !

Lastly, being single taught me never to settle for anything less!

In the past, I always think that I should feel honoured if anyone likes me and actually ask me to be their girlfriend. And I thought that should be it, because after all, I am nobody to have any high hopes in getting someone who is way better that what comes. But being single taught me that it is okay to have high hopes in looking for a partner that is going to be with you for the rest of your life. Learning that I am worthy of much more made me also realise that I should never settle for anything lesser than what I am worthy of. That I should never settle for anyone that comes.

It taught me to be calm and observe, to understand the person better and go through my checklist to see if they reach the level of my high hopes.

Having butterflies in your stomach when seeing someone are just temporarily feelings. To feel butterflies in your stomach every time your other half does something minor, even after years in the relationship is the most important thing when it comes to being in a relationship. Because after a while, the initial feeling that brings you both together will fade and it will eventually be the minor things that your partner does to make you feel that this relationship is worthy of you, of them and of your future.

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I used to have people telling me that staying in a marriage is a choice for your the rest of your time.

But come to think of it, it's not really just a choice but more like the things that your partner do after marriage that makes you choose to stay in the relationship.

Because if it is just solely base on choice, may I just ask you to think through this simple and brainless question for a second: "If your other half starts getting violent halfway into the marriage, do you still choose to stay in the relationship because you are already married and it was your choice to be in this marriage in the first place?" ... I can clearly and loudly tell you, NO! I wouldn't.

Remember you have all the rights to decide your fate and future. Don't allow anyone that comes into your life to make that decision for you. If it doesn't make you feel worthy, be brave and strong enough to leave it.

In time, God will send you the one that He has prepared for you. The one that He knows is right for you. The one that He has long planned to be your partner for life.

Be patient and remember never settle for anything less!

Till next time.

じゃね！

Signing off!

MakoVenus💋